Someone To Come Back To
by Synbou
Summary: They say smell is our most powerful sense. A bad odour causes Tom to have a flashback of a friend being killed. Slightly AU.


Disclaimer: Star Trek:Voyager and its characters don't belong to me. I don't make any money out of this story.

_A/N: Again, I apologize for any grammar mistakes I might have left behind. I'm working on "re-learning" and getting comfortable to write in English. I'm afraid it is an ungoing process.  
_

**Summary:** They say smell is our most powerful sense. A bad odour causes Tom to have a flashback of a friend being killed. Slightly AU.

**Someone to Come Back To**

Part 1/1

By Isabelle S

0000000000

As theU.S.S. Voyager made her way trough the darkness of space, her pilot put in one last entry into the helm panel. He then allowed his replacement to take over. It was 1800 hours and Lieutenant Tom Paris' shift was over for another day in the Delta Quadrant. He joined Ensign Harry Kim at the Ops station in a few long strides. Both officers left the bridge for the Mess Hall.

"I'm starving! I hope Neelix made something good for a change," Kim said.

"Always the optimist, aren't you Harry?" Paris teased him.

"Doesn't hurt to hope," the younger man reminded him.

"True," Paris consented. "But if I were you, I wouldn't raise my hopes too high. It smells strange and we're not even there yet."

The moment the doors of the Mess Hall opened the strange odour hit Tom Paris in full force!

A wave of nausea overwhelmed him. He quickly swallowed once, then twice, in order to keep the bile down. He had to compose himself. Throwing up in the entrance of a crowded Mess Hall was definitely not an option.

"Tom, are you okay?" Kim asked, visibly concerned by his friend's aversive reaction.

"Give me a sec," he managed in a strained voice.

Paris closed his eyes. He forced himself to concentrate. He hated that odour! He had smelled something similar before and he hated it! It reminded him of…

_Oh, God…_

A first image assaulted his mind, then a second, and a third… Dark and confusing memories filled his mind. With them, Tom Paris realized with dreadfulness that he had failed yet another promise.

"Tom…" Kim tried again.

The images vanished as quickly as they had come, leaving Paris shattered in their wake.

He looked around unsettled. A few crewmembers were staring in his and Harry's direction. They were chattering amongst themselves in low voices.

_Don't let them see your pain…__ Don't give them any other reason to put you down_, a woman's voice echoed in his mind.

_Nahani…_

_Stand tall, Thomas_, his father's would have added.

Quickly, he reinforced his wall of nonchalance. Behind it, he hid all his troubled feelings and memories – all, but those he held for Nahani… He could not ignore them. Not anymore.

"I'm fine now, Harry." he assured him.

Kim did not buy his lie. "You don't look fine. You looked like you saw a ghost or something."

"Or something…" Paris trailed of. He wished he could turn around and leave. "It's this awful smell," he explained. "It smells like… burning algae."

"It could be. It actually reminds me of something my Mom used to cook. My Mom's a great cook, though. She never burns a thing!" Kim said proudly. He prompted Paris towards Neelix's galley.

"Ensign Kim, Lieutenant, how good to see you!" the cook greeted them with a dash of forced enthusiasm.

It was no secret that Voyager's resident Talaxian was no fan of Tom Paris, but at least he had the decency to be civil toward the Lieutenant when Kim was around. It was something Paris was grateful for. Harry did not need to suffer from Tom's lack of 'popularity' more than what could be expected of their mutual friendship.

"What do you have for us tonight, Neelix?" Kim dared to ask.

Paris considered the stinky white and burned-blueish mixture in front of him. He did not care to know what it was.

"I have a fabulous new creation!" Neelix presented. "It's a Dikujia algae lasagne. This dish is perfect when you add the Tin'ka spices!"

Judging by the smell of it, this new culinary attempt was far from perfect in Paris' opinion.

He was about to make a derogatory comment when his gaze met the Talaxian's. Paris looked down at the dish, then back at the cook. The latter was standing tall behind the counter.

Paris unexpectedly realized that despite all the burned and weird dishes – despite all his faux-pas – Neelix always stood tall. He was swallowing every bit of criticism and recrimination about his cooking as he was adjusting to this alien culture into which he was trying to fit in.

Neelix was not letting them see his frustrations. He was not giving them any other reasons to complain.

Suddenly, Paris wanted to laugh at the irony. This was his own culture and he could barely do the same. Again, sorrow and self-hatred threatened to overwhelm him as he felt like he had let down yet another person.

_His father…. _

Neelix would have made the Admiral proud.

All the sudden, Tom Paris had a new source of respect for the Talaxian. Neelix was succeeding where he was failing. Tom had to admire that.

"I'm sure it is perfect, Neelix," he finally told the cook, his tone uncharacteristically quiet. "I never cared much for algae, though."

"Between you and me, Tom, you never cared much for anything other than tomato soup, pizza, peanut better, and macaroni and cheese," Kim teased him in a valiant effort to lift his friend's unexpected solemn mood.

"That's not fair, Harry," Paris defended himself, feigning indignation. "I like steak, cherry pie, and ham and cheese sandwiches, too."

He flashed Harry a grin. The Ensign smiled back, but his concerned expression stayed on.

"I'm afraid there are no other choice, tonight," Neelix said. "Our food supplies are somewhat limited at the moment. Even if you don't care for algae, you should try it. I assure you that this dish is excellent! It doesn't taste like its smells once you add the spices."

Paris seemed to consider the alternative for too long since now both Harry and Neelix were eyeing him suspiciously.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Harry asked again. "You don't look so good."

"I am fine," he lied.

Paris actually still felt nauseous, but there were no need to worry Kim even more. His friend would just insist that he go to Sickbay and the last thing Tom wanted to do was paying the Doctor a visit.

"So, do you want some of this?" Kim inquired.

"Sorry. I'll pass," he declined.

Kim shook his head. "Why I am not surprise?" he mumbled. "Well, I'll try it. I'm hungry enough to eat almost anything."

"I'm sorry to be so picky, again," Paris apologized to the cook.

Neelix looked up at him a bit taken aback by his sincere apology.

Deep down, it hurt Tom to see the constant suspiciousness in the Talaxian's eyes. Had Neelix ever looked at him differently? The Talaxian had indeed. That had been before he had learned who Tom Paris was and before he had gotten into his head that the Lieutenant wanted to break his relationship with Kes.

Paris allowed himself a self-deprecating sigh, letting the smell of burned algae filled his nostrils. A big mistake…

The dark images haunted his mind again, bringing with them heartbreaking memories.

_Nahani…_

Forcing his thoughts back to Neelix and Kes, Paris wished the cook would soon realize that he would never hurt them. Kes loved Neelix and Tom respected that. e had lost too many love ones to inflict such a pain to someone else.

Paris bit his lower lip. I don't suppose you have some cheese to go with the bread that's over there?"

"I wish I had some to offer you, Lieutenant," Neelix told him. "I'm afraid we don't even have that."

"That's too bad. I'll have some bread and a cup of tea then."

"You know Paris, bread and water might still be what a lot of people feed prisoners, but you don't have to go out of your way to act the part," a woman told him on vicious tone.

Paris looked over his shoulder in order to face Seska. Chakotay was standing behind her eyeing him smugly.

_And you expec__t me to respect you in return…_ he wanted to tell the Commander. _I don't think so_.

"The part suits me just fine," he told them, standing tall.

Turning around again, he gave back his attention to Neelix. The Talaxian had already put some bread on plate along with a piece of butter and a little cup of purple jelly. He was now pouring him a cup of tea.

"Thanks, Neelix. That's great!" he said as he took his food. He faced his friend. "I'll see you later, Harry. Commander, Seska, have a blast with the lasagne," he told them as he past by.

00000

Ensign Harry Kim found himself alone facing Commander Chakotay and Seska. Throughout his life, he had never hated anyone. He had disliked some people, but never despised anyone as he did the Bajoran woman. She knew it, too. She was spitting her hatred for him right back in his face. As for the Commander, he seemed quite happy to simply stand there and to silently support his former crew member.

_And he's expecting to reunite the __crew with this attitude?_ Harry wondered to himself.

"You have something to say, _Ensign_?" Seska challenged on that same vicious tone of hers.

"Not to _you_, that's for sure," Kim replied holding her gaze with all the confidence Starfleet had inspired in him. He looked up at his superior officer long enough to let his disappointment and indignation felt. He turned to the counter and took his plate. "Have a good evening, Neelix," he told the cook.

"Same to you, Mr. Kim," Neelix wished in return.

The Ensign then quickly acknowledged his CO with a crisp "Sir" on his way out.

Once in the hallway, Harry debated where to go next. He wanted to check up on Paris, but he knew he would not be welcome at this time. Tom was the kind of man who preferred to 'lick' his wound in private. He was not the kind who shared his true feelings easily, but did so sometimes when he was relaxed and unthreatened. By visiting him later, once the heat had died down, Kim had a better chance to make the man talk. He might even know what was really bothering his new best friend.

So, where did that left Harry Kim when _he_ needed to talk?

He had a few friends on Voyager, but only two he was closed to: Tom and B'Elanna. Since Paris was not an option at this time, it left B'Elanna Torres. For better or worse, Kim headed for Engineering, disposing of the burned-algae lasagne on his way.

"You're busy, Maquis?"

Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres turned away from her working station. "What does it look like, Starfleet?"

"It looks like you could use a break. Let's go to your office," he suggested, not giving her an opportunity to say 'no'.

"What's going on, Harry?" she asked with a hint of annoyance.

"I'm really pissed," he declared.

She snorted. "_You?_ You're pissed at something? I don't believe it!"

Kim gave her a hard look. "Not something, _someone_," he corrected her.

"Who dare piss you off? I'll go rip his or her heart out right away!"

"It's not funny," he told her. She had the decency to look a bit apologetic. "The Commander," he simply answered her question.

"Chakotay," she stated incredulously.

"Last time I checked, that was his name."

"Now, what did Chakotay do to you?" B'Elanna was curious now.

"Not to me, to Tom," Kim said.

"Ah, him," she stated flatly.

"Yes, _him_. I know Chakotay's your good friend and all, B'Elanna, but let me tell you regardless that the man a hypocrite."

"Careful, Starfleet," she warned.

"I was starting to buy his act. I really was," Kim told her with dismay.

"And of what _act_ are you talking about?" She did not like this conversation at all anymore.

"His _rightfulness_ act," Kim replied. "Make that the: _As First Officer I'll treat every member of this crew with integrity and respect_ act." He snorted. "And I was naïve enough to believe it. To believe _him_! Well, I don't anymore. If the Commander's not willing to respect Tom after everything the man has done for this ship over the last eight months or – at the very least – stand out for a fellow senior officer, he doesn't deserve my respect." He sighted heavily. "I'm sorry B'Elanna, but the Commander really disappointed me."

B'Elanna Torres did not really cared about what had happened, but she had to ask anyway. "Harry, why don't you tell me what went down this time between Paris and Chakotay?"

00000

Tom Paris found himself back in the Mess Hall. The odour that had assaulted him earlier was still hanging in the air, but Tom was prepared this time. At least, he had an idea of what to expect.

The pilot did not want to be back. He did not want to be reminded of the past. He did not want to have to face what was to come either, but he had no choice. If he ever wanted to sleep again, he had to ask the questions that had led him back on Chakotay's path.

The Commander was sited at a table straight ahead. He was surrounded by a few of his good allies: Seska, Ayala, and Laulin. They were chatting and laughing among themselves.

Laughing was the last thing Tom felt like doing. On the contrary, he would have cried if he could. Like throwing up, crying in the Mess Hall was also not an option.

God, he missed her. At least with Nahani, he was free to cry.

_Paris, yo__u have to get a grip. After all, you're doing this for her…_ he told himself.

He took a deep breath. He then threw himself in the lion's den. He slowly made his way to the ex-Maquis's table.

"Paris," Seska hissed with the viciousness of a hyena.

Tom ignored her. "Commander," the Lieutenant acknowledged. "May I have a minute of your time, please? I would like to ask you a question about mutual friend."

Seska showed her disagreement. Ayala and Laulin eyed him suspiciously. Still, Chakotay invited him to sit down. His expression remained neutral. The Commander would be careful not to disgrace himself more than he already had earlier. This fact was insuring Tom a certain level of protection.

"We _don't_ have mutual friends, Paris," Chakotay finally pointed out. "Who are you referring to?"

"Nahani."

"Nahani? You mean Nahani Soken?" Chakotay clarified.

"She's been dead for months, now," said Seska before the Commander could ask anything else.

Chakotay gave her a reprimanding look.

Seska's cold statement chilled Tom to the bone. He fought hard to keep his emotions in check. No matter what, he could not afford to break down in front of them.

"So, it's true," he said quietly. "She died while I was in prison. I was hoping the rumours were false."

"Had you not been caught, she might still be alive today," the hyena reminded him.

"Shut up, Seska," Chakotay ordered her. She looked back at him offended. Chakotay continued to hold Paris' gaze. "I knew you two were lovers."

"No," Tom refuted as he got up. "We weren't lovers. We were friends. Thank you for your time, Commander."

He turned stiffly and marched towards the exit.

_Hold on_, he told himself. _Just another five minutes…_

"Paris!" Chakotay called after him.

Tom only turned halfway to see the ex-Maquis Captain stand tall behind the table.

"I owe you an apology," Chakotay said, loud and clear. "You warned me many times that Nahani would always come first. You were true to your word. It only occurred to me that you had someone to come back to as well. But -"

"Chakotay," Tom cut him off. "Apology accepted."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I'm sure she didn't suffer."

"That's where you're wrong," Tom said, meeting the Commander's eyes for a moment.

He did not notice the silence that followed his exist.

00000

The EMH looked up and met Tom's gaze. "I can't find anything physically wrong with you Mr. Paris," he said. "Although with you, it doesn't mean nothing is. So tell me, what is really bothering you?"

Tom swallowed, repressing his nausea. "I had a flashback," he admitted.

"A flashback about what?" probed the Doctor.

"About a friend being killed," Tom answered quietly.

"Considering your mental health history following the events of Caldik Prime, are you not accustomed to such flashbacks already?"

The physician's comment replayed in Tom's mind as he tried to understand its meaning. His throat tightened and he found it hard to breathe. His skin was suddenly damped from a cold sweat. Caldik Prime; there would always be Caldik Prime and what he had lost there…

Bruno…

A friend being killed…

Charlie…

His best friend from childhood vaporized…

Odile…

His fiancée gone…

His body convulsed forward and Tom threw up on the Doctor.

00000

Chakotay left the Mess Hall confused and intrigued.

The source of his problem: _Tom Paris_.

At least, that is what it appeared to be at first. Now, Chakotay was realizing that the pilot might not have been the problem after all, but only one of its symptoms.

The Commander entered his office and replicated himself a cup of tea. He sat behind his desk as he further considered the nature of the problem.

Tom Paris had walked on Voyager as a convicted criminal for treason against the Federation.

That was still not settling too well with the Starfleet part of the crew. His job had been to help track down the Maquis. That had also made him a traitor in the eyes of his former crew, including his own.

The truth was: Tom Paris, disgraced son of a high ranking admiral, had never been accepted by the Maquis. He had been at best a mercenary and at worse a pilot available to anyone who could pay his bar tabs. Chakotay had to admit, however, that he had never seen the man drunk on the job. Paris had been as conscientious of his duties then, as he was of the ones he held on Voyager now. Tom Paris was a professional, but his personal life sure was messy.

Chakotay took another sip of tea. Never before now had he tried to put himself into Tom Paris' shoes. What he discovered sadden him. Tom was living a very lonely life. He had been for a very long time. He was an outcast on this ship as he had been during his brief employment with the Maquis. Before that, he had simply been alone – cast away by the events following the Caldik Prime incident. It had been a critical point in Tom's life.

On second thought... Maybe it was not so critical after all. Something must have had pushed the younger man to conceal the truth about his implication in the death of his three team mates. Had it been his guilt? Had it been denial of his responsibility? Or had it been the pain of losing his three best friends?

_Friends._

Tom Paris was surrounded by people. However, who did he call a friend? Clearly on this ship, only Harry Kim and Kes had been willing to befriend the outcast one. Chakotay wondered if Tom had always been that isolated, that is, even before Caldik Prime. Of course, there had been Nahani… Chakotay had seen both she and Paris stood for one another countless of time. Still, who else had been there for the younger man?

Being the son of an admiral must not have granted Tom with many friends. Chakotay could easily see people rejecting Tom Paris on the basis of who his father was. He could also imagine people gravitating around him for that same reason. Consequently, when one is kept at arms length, one also learns to do the same in order to keep the resentment and the pretence away. That could lead to a very lonely life.

_Loneliness. _

Some people cannot cope with solitude. They will fall into deep depression. They will become dependant on others, throwing themselves into the first available relationship, good or bad. Others, like Tom Paris and Kathryn Janeway, for that matter, accept it and even embraced it. Those surrounding them usually take the hint and keep their distances, making sure of not invading the loner's personal space. They know that doing otherwise would have unwelcome consequences.

_Consequences._

Chakotay had found out early on how invading Tom Paris's personal space could lead to unwelcome consequences. Most of the crew had. Hence, they had stayed away from the pilot. Chakotay finally began to understand what the real problem surrounding Tom Paris was.

_Cowards. _

Cowards like himself. Like many on this ship, he had allowed his anger and resentment rationalized his cowardice. He had let his feelings dictate his actions, using Paris as scapegoat. He had judged the younger man without taking the time to see pass his façade. It was a façade that was hiding deep pains, loneliness, and vulnerability, among other things.

Had Chakotay looked, he would have realized that the Chief Pilot was not as bad as he had thought. Had he had the courage to stand up, he would have helped someone in need of support and guidance much sooner. But until now, Chakotay had not bothered to look. He had been too afraid to be wrong about the man and about himself. He had been afraid to change his precious beliefs. In the end, he had caused many prejudices to someone under his command. Worse, he had let others follow his lead.

It had taken the courage of a young Ensign to make him realize how dishonourable and unfair he had been. Harry Kim had turned the mirror around, in a manner of speaking, and had let Chakotay see a reflection of himself that the older man did not like at all.

Kim had taken the risk to see behind Tom Paris' façade. Harry had been courageous enough to stand up for his friend. A friend that he knew was a good person and was not as strong as he seemed.

The pilot's well-being had been hanging in a delicate balance for years. Tonight, in the Mess Hall, something had happened that was threatening this fragile balance. Chakotay clenched his fists, reprimanding himself for having been a coward once again…

There was no way he was going to let Tom take a fall after all he had done to redeemed himself. It was about time he honoured the debt he had towards the younger man. He intended to do so, not only as First Officer, but potentially as Tom's friend as well. First, an apology was in order.

"Computer, locate Lieutenant Tom Paris," he called.

"Lieutenant Tom Paris is in Sickbay," the computer answered coldly.

Chakotay tensed and promptly made his way to deck 5. Once in the Medical Bay, he found the EMH doing some cleaning around a bed, but no sign of Tom.

"Doctor, where's Lieutenant Paris?" demanded the Commander.

"Mr. Paris just left," the HMH said irritated. "One would have thought that he would have had the decency to clean up after himself. After all, he vomited on _me_. Of course, _I_ am the one who has to clean up _his_ mess. Not that it would be a first -"

"Lieutenant Paris threw up on you and you let him go?" Chakotay asked.

"Nothing was wrong with him," the Doctor rebuked.

"People who are fine do not throw up on others, Doctor. Obviously, _something_ was wrong." Chakotay pointed out. "The last time I saw Mr. Paris, he was upset. So what happened?"

The Doctor let his shoulder sank. "I'm afraid that I aggravated the Lieutenant's emotional distress by making a reference to Caldik Prime," he confessed shamefully.

Chakotay felt appalled. "What in the Spirit's name possessed you to bring up the worse moment of his life?"

"Mr. Paris mentioned suffering from flashbacks of someone being killed. I had assumed the Lieutenant was now accustomed to such flashbacks. After all, he had suffered from this condition following the events that transpired at Caldik Prime until not so long ago."

"He had flashbacks of a friend being killed and you assumed he got used to that?" Chakotay could hardly believe it.

"He still does," the Doctor said.

"I'm sorry?"

"Mr. Paris still has flashbacks of his friends being killed at Caldik Prime. I realize now that I could have handled this situation better."

"Yes, you could have," the Commander agreed. "Just be glad that all he did was throw up on you."

­­­00000

"Tom, please wait for us," he heard Kes call from the end of the corridor. He turned around and saw the young Ocampa and Neelix running towards him. "Are you all right? The computer said that you were in Sickbay."

"I'm fine, thank you," he answered. Both of them eyed him skeptically leading him to wonder if he looked as bad as he felt.

"Neelix said that you seemed unwell, earlier tonight," Kes went on, conferring with the Talaxian by briefly making eye contact.

Her companion nodded. "I hope you don't mind me telling you this, Lieutenant, but you don't look much better."

"It's okay, Neelix," he told him.

What could he say? He did not like lying to his friends, especially not Kes. Like Nahani, she always knew the minute he tried. So with his Betezoid friend, he had learned to stick to the truth. On her part, Nahani had known not to press him for details when they were not forthcoming.

His friendship with Kes was very similar to the one Tom had with Nahani. Coming to think of it, she also had been involve with someone other than him, a man she had been promised to when she was only a child. Such was the custom in her culture and both Nahani and Denkart had decided to follow it through, falling in love with each other as naturally as Tom had come to adore Odile.

Odile… God, he missed her. He missed all of them.

"Tom-" Kes called him back to his present company.

"I'm fine, really I am," he assured him. "It's just- the smell of the burned algae in the Mess Hall brought back bad memories."

"Oh," voiced Neelix somewhat at lost. "I'm very sorry, Lieutenant. I didn't intend to bring you or, any other crewmember, discomfort."

"I know, Neelix. Please, don't feel bad. It's gonna go away. It always does," Tom said. He wondered who he was trying to convince the most, Neelix and Kes or himself.

"Well, if there is anything we can do, you won't hesitate to ask, will you?" insisted Kes.

"I will. Thank you both."

As they parted company, Tom could tell Kes was still deeply worried about him. Neelix also seemed genuinely concerned. He reflected upon what the Talaxian had inspired him earlier that evening and how he had changed his attitude. It was amazing how a little respect could go a long way. How could he have changed so much, became so arrogant?

If only he could respect himself again…

By the time Tom reached his quarters, he was so deeply lost in thoughts that he almost collided in Commander Chakotay, waiting for him by his door.

"Sorry, Sir, I wasn't paying attention," he apologized quickly, hoping he could just pass by and disappear in his quarters.

"Lieutenant, I would like to have a word with you in private."

"Commander, if it's about earlier-"

"I just came from Sickay, looking for you. The EHM was cleaning up after you, apparently."

Now, what had the Doc told his CO? Could this evening get any worse? Not knowing what else to do, Tom invited Chakotay to follow him inside his cabin.

"I'm fine, Commander. The doctor didn't find anything wrong with me."

"As I pointed out to the Doctor, people vomiting on others are far from fine. What happened?"

"You want me to throw up on you too?"

"I'll take my chances. Please, tell me what happen?"

Could he lie? He did not like to do so to the Commander, either, although he did it often enough. Chakotay knew it, too, and it was one of the reason the man disliked him. Tom could not blame the ex-Maquis Captain. Tonight, however, a little honesty was called for, if not for Nahani's sake then for his own. Besides, the Doctor had probably already mentioned the flashbacks to the Commander.

Tom knew himself to be cocky when it came to his piloting skills, but he also knew when to back off. Caldik Prime had been a very difficult lesson, one that he would always remember. Now, that he wanted to face it or not, his mental state was compromised and so was his commission as Chief Helmsman.

He crossed the room and sat on the couch. He drew in a calming breath before repeating what he had said to the Doctor, earlier: "I had a flashback of a friend getting kill."

Chakotay walked in closer and sat across from him on the long chair. He waited patiently, carefully, for him to say more.

"Nahani… I saw- or rather _felt_ her, more than saw her… She was Betazoid, you know. We've been close friends for years. Not lovers, close friends. The type of friends you don't screw around with… Close friends…" he was rambling, he hated doing that. "I could feel her presence, hear her thoughts sometimes. The day she died…" Tom swallowed painfully. He was going to be sick again.

Across from him, Chakotay listened and waited for him to say more, providing support silently. Nahani always said he was a good man… She could tell these kinds of things. She had known that Denkart was a good man too on their first meeting… Then, why had she been all by herself when she passed away? Was it why she had reached for him across an unbelievably great distance?

"Do you know if Denkart was with her when she died?"

"Yes, he was. He didn't survive the crash either."

"He must have died before her… She was so alone." The memory brought tears to his eyes. He fought the urge to cry. "They crashed…in a pile of algae. The smell- that horrible smell of burning algae and… burned skin…"

Bile rose in his tight throat and he bent forward, unable to prevent himself from vomiting the meager content of his stomach on the carpet.

His skin damped from another cold sweat, he sat up straighter. Acid was burning his throat and his stomach ached. Before he knew it, Chakotay was by his side, a glass of water in one hand and a wet cloth in the other.

Tom first cleaned his face with the cloth, put it on the nearby table, and then took a drink of water. "Thanks," he said weakly. "I'm sorry."

"I was forewarned and you're welcome."

He took a few more swallow, trying to relax. "Was the crash investigated?" he asked at last.

"Not as it should have," answered Chakotay. Was there a note of anger in his voice? "With the conflict and all, it was ruled out has an engineering malfunction, an accident."

Tom snorted. "Accident my ass! They- they…" He let the sentence trail off, unwilling to open another can worms. "It doesn't matter anymore," he concluded.

"They what, Tom?" Chakotay prompted. Resigning himself, the younger man opened his mouth, but no word came out. He shook his head, trying to convey that it would be a bad idea to continue for him. "Take a deep breath in… Let it out… again, breathe in… breathe out, that's good," the Commander coached. "They what?"

"They- Nahani and Denkart suspected that there was a Cardassian spy among your cell, but they didn't have any proof. I fear they were murdered."

Chakotay looked away and surprised Tom by nodding. "I think so, too."

"You do?"

"B'Elanna quickly went over the specs of their craft and the way it crashed, she suspected sabotage. I trust her expertise," Chakotay said.

"Any idea who the spy could be?"

"No, but I suspect he or she is on Voyager."

"Really? We've got to find that spy!" Tom insisted.

"I agree, but not tonight," replied the Commander. "First, let's clean the carpet and then I have a good blend of tea that should help you sleep. You have the day off, tomorrow. I want you to rest."

"Chakotay- " tried to protest Tom.

"Rest, Paris, for a full day, that's an order," emphasized the Commander. "I'll catch up with you around dinner time." He met Tom's gaze. "I promise you that we'll flush out the spy, but it's going to take some work. So, be patient, okay?"

Tom sighed, and then nodded his agreement. "Chakotay, thank you."

"You're welcome."

0000000000

The End

May 2009


End file.
